On Tuesday, over a year after the fatal Covenant School shooting in Nashville, the Tennessee Star and Editor-in-Chief Michael Patrick Leahy released 90 pages of writings left behind by Audrey Hale. The writings were done between January and March of 2023, leading up to the 27, 2023 shooting that saw three 9-year-old children and three staff members killed. Hale was fatally shot by police in the school.
The Star said that the journal was legally obtained from a source familiar with the investigation in June 2024, and the notebook was recovered from Hale’s vehicle by the Metro Nashville Police Department alongside a spiral-bound notebook following the shooting.
The red, lined-page notebook features the name "Aiden" written on the cover. Aiden was the name that the trans-identifying school shooter went by.
The journal opens with the words "Darkness" and "Everything hurts" written on the inside cover, and "Why does my brain not work right?? Cause I was born wrong" written on the first page. "Nothing on Earth can save me," it added. "Never-ending pain. Religion won't save me." Many of the opening pages feature drawings of broken hearts, writing about loving someone, and the abbreviation P.A.P. frequently written in a heart. Hale also frequently wrote of wanting to die.
Another page includes the phrases, "No brown girls, no love," and "brown love is the most beautiful kind," and the following page states, "Audrey is not my name but when you say it I am just as the little 1 I was back then. I can be a kid again with you alongside you even if I can’t really be w/ you."
